Lapis Lazuli

The first three months of 2009 have been quite a test as I expect it has been for a lot of people. Just before Christmas I lost my long term contract as a chef at a private hospital. I loved it there as it was such a friendly place to work and they allowed me to do a few crystal stalls to tempt the staff into our wonderful world of crystals. I had booked Christmas of anyway so thought before I take to the streets and go to the bottomless pit they call the job centre I would take some time to chill. I spent a lot of time with family and my girlfriend and just enjoyed the rest of my free time in meditation and working with crystals.

Christmas came and went so now was the time to go back out into the world to find a job. As a chef you would think it easy to get a job but it's getting harder to find a job you like, let alone one with good hours and pays well. Before I had it all worked out to do craft fairs on my days of and start on my pursuit of the dream to start selling crystals and meeting people who love crystals as well. I found a job which isn't very me as a canteen supervisor for the staff in a supermarket. The first few weeks were such a challenge and everyday had to fight the urge to walk and find another job. Years ago I would of and I have done walking into another job with ease and a huge sense of freedom, now it's not that simple. Every day I would arrive home not feeling good with life as it wasn't just work getting me down it was my relationship as well. My girlfriend was becoming colder to me and I couldn't work out why so life at work and home wasn't the happy place it had been a few weeks before. Not been fully me I missed the warning signs and my relationship ended. We arranged to go for a meal so we met and I heard the words "I have something to tell you that will make me cry" so we sat on a bench in the middle of Leeds surrounded by people laughing and having fun on the outdoor ice rink they set up at the beginning of each year. You know how it goes; it's not you it's me etc, etc. So the start of the year saw me first in a job I hated and single as well what a great start.

It was time to dig deep and start to find myself and build on everything else in my life that brought me joy and bring into it other joys as well. Like the crystal Lapis Lazuli I needed to bring peace and purpose back into my life. I needed to retake charge on my life and it was a shock that I didn't miss the relationship I was in and how trapped I was in it. You would think at the age of 37 I would of worked out relationships by now but I haven't but the I have learnt that one of the most important things in a relationship is been allowed to be yourself. Lapis Lazuli is a crystal full of emotion and its protection helps you find the confidence to lower your guard and show the world who you truly are. If they don't like it well that's their problem as long as you and the people closest to you are happy with you that are all that matters don't you think?

When you're in a relationship you come to take for granted your phone always going off with a text message or call from your partner. It is only at the end of a relationship you realise how much quieter you phone is and I remember checking it a few times to see if it was still working. On my journey with meditation and crystals some of the old friends I had have left my life. The reasons we work with crystals and other alternative therapy is we feel there is more to life and use these tools to find the answers. As I found mine and became and still find more answers I found myself growing apart from some old friends. I realised they weren't true friends and only wanted me in their life to make them happy and feel good about themselves. The biggest change was when I stopped drinking alcohol as people just can't get their heads round it and weren't happy with me not getting drunk. Strange as they were telling me to have alcohol but I wasn't telling them not to, so I was happy for them to be themselves but they couldn't let me be me.

I find that as I hold Lapis Lazuli that stress leaves my body and a beautiful peace runs through my body. As it opens my third eye I enter my meditation with new understandings as I open up to new ways and ideas. I feel the crystal surrounding me like my own personal guardian as it protects my aura and builds on my inner strengths. When i was younger and just starting out as a chef in hotels it was a tough time as I was bullied by other chefs trying to toughen me up for life as a chef? I used to read a lot then, books with magic and wizards taking me too far away places and worlds so unlike this one. Now I find myself doing the same reading the same type of books as none of them mention supermarkets so I melt and drift away. But now I read them for fun as I am no longer that weak young lad to be bullied I'm me and happy. I walk around Leeds centre on my dinner hour happily taking pictures and exploring the city in which I live but not truly looked at. I think the Lapis Lazuli has helped me retake charge of my life and be true to myself. I feel Lapis Lazuli has a bit of all of us with a deep blue colour it is flecked with gold showing the brightness of light within. Lapis Lazuli allows us to see the truth in all, ourselves and others and we should learn from this.

I'm writing this on Easter Sunday as it is three months since all these changes have begun. I still hate my job but am more at peace with it knowing it's not my life and just that it's a stop gap until I find something else. I'm better than the job and it's not better than me as I'm a much, much, much better chef than this. I'm no longer in touch with my ex and I don't often think of her so I know the relationship wasn't right for the both of us. It's funny as years ago at the end of another relationship (I'm beginning to lose count I hope the next one is where we both find happiness and stay together) a friend said to me "wouldn't it be good if you could write a book about your life and all you have done good and bad. You could give it to the next girl you meet and say read it. If you like what you read great that's a wonderful start, if not it was lovely meeting you and good luck for the future. Save a lot of time and hurt don't you think?"

It was many years ago this was said and after each break up I always remember the conversation. Maybe all I write on this website are the beginnings of one, but I would have to give it structure. As you know I treat this website like a crystal putting information haphazard so you find things the more you look and where you least expect it. Crystals are wonderful in the way they work bringing problems to the surface so we deal with them and also learn making us stronger for it. As I write about crystals and their effect on my life I realise apart from the new friends I have in the world of meditation and crystals, you and the others that read my website know more than old friends I had did in the many years of knowing me.

Mario my friend from Global Tribe Crystals was trying to play golf with him for months and months. I was always telling him no as I had tried it years ago even bought and sold two sets of clubs in the past thinking it a stupid game. A month ago I relented thinking playing golf with him was the least I could do in return for the many hours he and his wife Bev has supported me in meditation. So I borrowed his spare set of clubs and went to a driving range. Wow for the first time in ages I relaxed and switched my over active brain off. Out on the golf course later with just you, a friend, set of clubs, trees, birds, peace, quiet and a stupid little ball that like life only sometimes goes where you want it but when it does it's the greatest feeling on earth. So what could make golf even better for me? Searching for a set of clubs what do I find but a set called Golden Bear each with a little bear on them. So now I even have bears on the course with me. Golf is very much like life as if I think too much about my shot I usually fluffs it but if I relax and let go it's so much easier. Lapis Lazuli can help you stay focussed and open your eyes to the simple pleasures in life and what it brings.

Another thing Lapis Lazuli helps bring is a strong relationship allowing you to show your emotions and feelings to a loved one or in friendship. I'm allowing my true self to come out as tomorrow is a new day and you never know what it could bring. It is also a day I'm off on a date so is this the beginning of a new relationship or a new friendship. Let's hope we both see the beauty in each other.

Lapis Lazuli crystals help with migraines, immune system, depression, increases self worth, and protects, spiritual growth and can help with vertigo. It has an isometric crystal structure. The name Lapis Lazuli is a hybrid term from both Latin and Arabic meaning blue stone.